Is Sharing, REALLY Caring?

Posted October 19, 2015 by Keionda Lei Lewis in Discussion / 41 Comments


Idk guys, I just…idk…

                                           I have this epical question for ya:


I’ll answer that question by saying that I may have told a handful and a very few, select handful of people that I trust: My mom and sister. When I told them I had a blog they were all like woooot wooott yeaahhh. Keionda has a BLOG, yo. I’m going to read everything you put on there AND I’m going to subscribe and be YO NUMBER ONE FAN!

           Six months later…and they haven’t so much as peeked at one of my posts.


# 1 reason I don’t tell:

I don’t want everyone in my business because I KNOW they’ll only judge. Well, most of the time…                                                                            

# 2 reason I don’t tell:

They won’t give a crap anyway. Period. Okay, so maybe I’m being a negative Nancy here but these are just my thoughts on this. You can disagree. 😉 

I was conversing with a woman and randomly blurted out that I was a blogger. Her eyes widened in disbelief. I KID YOU NOT, this is was her response.

“Oh, that’s cool that you blog. I’ve never met someone that blogged before.”                         


I’m hesitant to even tell anyone about the fact that I write novels so I shudder when I think about talking about the fact that I blog about books. It’s not that I’m ashamed of anything, just that…well, I don’t feel that people would understand when I tell them. Like they wouldn’t care and most of the time that’s the case. It’s sad, but true.


But if you guys come up to me and you’re all like: SO I HAVE THIS BLOG AND I THINK BOOKS ARE EPIC. OMIGOSH, Then I shall totally fan girl with you because you awesome human beings ARE AWESOME for what you do.

This blogging thang? It ain’t easy. But we never asked for easy did we? 😉


                                 Over to you:

TELL ME ALL. Do you guys tell everyone about your love for books and blogging? Or are you under wraps? Why or why not? I need to know because, a part of me feels bad that I’m like this but then the more dominant part is like: NAH. THEY DON’T NEED TO KNOW.



41 responses to “Is Sharing, REALLY Caring?

  1. I learned at the age of 10 that people who don’t read are intimidated by people who do. Everyone who knows me, knows that I read a lot. However, only a select few know that I have a book blog. I didn’t tell them, they just happened to either find my Twitter, Goodreads, or Google+ page; because my blog posts show up there occasionally. My brother and sister know, but I don’t think that they’re interested. Around here, simpleminded people just expect you to work, go clubbing, or sit on your butt and wait on the first of the month. They don’t expect you to have hobbies or anything that stimulates your mind. That’s why I have no friends (close ones anyway), because I’ve always been the odd girl to people around here. When you’re different, it scares ppl. Do I think I’m better than them? Hell No! I just don’t do the same stuff as them, so I’m the loser. I was the 12 year old jamming to Aerosmith and Bon Jovi back in the day. I prefer old school R&B to today’s R&B. I love Country music and clean my house on Saturdays to 80’s Rock. And if the Rap music isn’t from artists of the early 90’s or Jay Z, I don’t listen to it.

    You don’t have to tell ppl about your blog. You’re right, they’ll only judge you because I’ve seen it happen. God, why is it so hard for ppl to pick up a book and read it?!! I’ve never understood ppl, so I gave up a long time ago. Keep reading and writing, no matter what ppl say. My Mom read a lot, but it was my aunt who instilled in me the love of the written word. If it weren’t for those two women and a few of grade school teachers, I wouldn’t read as much as I do. Great post chica!

    • I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID!! I can definitely relate! (only you’re more awesomer than me because NONE of my friends have cared enough to want to come and see what I’m up to and when I invited them to like my page, I got like 0 zero interactions, so at least your friends care enough, you know? I TOO was that one girl that was always reading in school and people would be all like “why the heck are reading that book? It’s so big!) But, pfft, like you said, we are who we are, you know?

  2. I use to not tell anyone either but I think it has slowly leaked out that I have one, not that any of my family visit it or even follow for that matter but I do have a few friends that have checked it out, at least in the beginning they did. I have no idea if they do now but that is okay. I have met a ton of blogging friends that I adore and share my passion with so it’s all good. 😉

    • None of my family visit because I don’t think they care enough, but like you said, IT’S OKAY, because nine times out of ten they don’t care about it BUT the most important thing is that we have blogging friends that always make this wild ride a lot easier and more enjoyable! <3

  3. My friends and family all know I blog (though like yours, they don’t visit the blog with any regularly – WTH? ;-), but I don’t go about sharing it with everyone unless I’m in a bookish situation like an author signing or conference or something.

    I was in line at a conference once and a woman saw the name of my blog (Supernatural Snark) on my pass and then turned to me and said “Oh, you’re one of those bloggers–the ones that write snarky reviews,” and then promptly turned away from me before I could tell her that that’s not at all what my blog was like. Awesome. O.o

    • Haha Jenny! That had to be an awkward encounter with that one lady in the conference line! I bet you wish you could have stopped her and been like….”that’s not the only thing I write about” but pfft, whatevs because I’ve visited your blog and I love what you have there! Family, I don’t think they’ll ever really understand what it means to write and manage a blog. xoxo

  4. I have told a select few of my family members (well, all of my intermediate family except my dad). They think it’s cool and some of them ask for advice randomly but not one of them read my blog. I only know one person in RL that religiously reads my blog, but she doesn’t comment. She just reads the reviews 🙂 *shrugs* It’s a private thing and a lot of the people in my home life are deeply religious so I don’t see it as a thing they would be interested in, anyways. 🙂

    • I’m kind of on the hush hush when it comes to telling anyone about my blog and you already know why now. Some think it’s cool and some just shrug their shoulders and act like they understand, but you can see the look in their eyes that they really don’t understand.

  5. I can so relate to this post, lol! My husband and kids *know* about “Mom’s blog” but, for the most part no one gets books like I do (accept other book bloggers) and why go I through all the work to read and write reviews about them. I’m happy I’ve met so many other readers who are share their love for books by blogging 🙂

    • My family is always just like…what the heck are you doing at that computer all day?? BIG THINGS are happening and I don’t think they would ever, ever be able to understand. teehee

  6. nightowlbook

    i have told my family i do book reviews they look, meh.. i have told my dad how many books i read and own cause he is a reader and that stunned him. My husband and my father in law know that I blog, but they have no interest in it what so ever

    • Haha! My family always give me the same reaction. They’re just like….okay, cool. So from that, that has enforced my decision to never tell them anything else about it. <3

  7. Sophia Rose

    I didn’t keep it a secret, but most people I know aren’t interested. No biggie! I’m not a gamer and I’m not into clubbing or hunting or shopping or fashion, but they are. It’s interests and most respect that I have a different interest even though they can’t get into it. We connect over other interests or out of being opposites.

  8. My family knows – husband and mom My husband thinks I’m weird for how much I read and blog but understands it’s my thing. My mom will check out the blog here and there. Some of my friends follow on FB and check out when something catches their eye. But I don’t bring it up anymore unless they do. Great post!

  9. Zoe

    This is such an interesting question Keionda! My family and a few of my close friends know I have a book blog, but that’s pretty much it. I like to keep it a more personal thing, just so I don’t get my real life and my internet life intertwined. 😉 Thanks for sharing and, as always, fabulous discussion! <3

  10. I’m actually pretty proud of being a book nerd. I tell everyone I love them so much, I blog about them. I don’t really give a hooping funt if they ridicule me. I mean, I bet I can beat them at word play. *shrugs*

  11. Args! I had a whole nice comment and then WP ate it *hangs head* I tell people. Not the first thing out of my mouth when getting to know someone but I see no point in hiding it and since I don’t act like it’s something to be ashamed of and right out the bat I put out the attitude that I’m proud of it and excited about it I’ve found that other people follow those cues. It’s incredibly rare for me to find someone who talks down about blogging/reading or romance books because of that I think. Now. They may not read romance books themselves but so far most people I end up talking about the blog to are interested/curious about blogging in general and some have even checked it out. Including one of my good friends 😀 My family knows but they aren’t really computer savvy so they don’t understand a lot of what I say but even still I’ve got their support even to the point of my mama saying she’d take off and travel up to see me and help out with a book event I’m wanting to sponsor. She doesn’t visit the blog every day (or really ever) but she still supportive and it works for us 🙂

    • E.X.A.C.T.L.Y. Anna! I couldn’t agree with you more! I feel that the more proud and confident we are in what we do, it’s most likely that everyone else will follow suit. Your mom is one awesome lady if she is willing to fly out to you and help you to sponsor a book event! Way to go mom! <3 And it seems like every time you comment here, WP ALWAYS eats your comments! GAH! This has happened to me so many times! Sorry that keeps happening to you girl! ;(

  12. jenniferbielman

    Unless they are a blogger, then people don’t understand the blogger life. Some people I have told are positive but they don’t care, they don’t visit my blog. The only person that does is my mom. I am okay with that though, it makes it more special.

    • My family has never tried to come and visit my blog (and like you said, a non-blogger isn’t going to care as much because they haven’t lived the love of books life! I’m not a huge sports watcher so I’m sure this has to be how I act towards the ones that LOVE sports, you know?

  13. For me it depends. I have however shamelessly invited ALL of my Facebook friends to like my blog’s FBpage (after a couple of years of just selectively inviting people). I think most people in my life know I’m a gigantic book nerd (I can be rather vocal about it… haha) but very few people knew about my blog before that which was more positivity/lifestyle kind of blogging.
    Most people will be positive and nod but you can see in their eye that they have no clue what you’re talking about. I feel like the book blogging community is amazing though: it’s like my tribe, they know what’s going on, you know?

    • See, I tried that Karen(inviting my FB friends and all that) but it didn’t really work because I have gotten a total of 0 interaction from them. It sucks but sometimes that’s just the way it is. The people that I’ve met (online mostly) like you have been super awesome to talk to and I always feel closer to you than the few IRL friends I have!

  14. I don’t have as many friends or even people I know in real life, but even if I did I probably wouldn’t tell everyone. My mom and sister know I have a blog, but I eventually asked my mom to stop following my blog as it got awkward. She doesn’t really get the whole blog thing, she kept confusing Lola’s Reviews and Lola’s Blog Tours and she was reading my sunday post and then asking about that instead of letting me tell her what I wanted to tell. It just felt off, I write my posts for my blog audience, not for my mom. I might even prefer if people I know won’t visit my blog, unless they really are interested. My sister sometimes visits or comments and I am okay with that.

    I also agree that for people who aren’t bloggers the whole blogging thing and blogging community is hard to understand, which I can understand. I mean before I started blogging I had no idea what it was all about it either. Still it can be hard to explain or have a conversation with someone who doesn’t get it.

    • This post speaks to me so much Lola! I don’t have many friends IRL either, but not that it matters because I now have a bunch of friends online so that def makes up for it and I don’t have to dress up when I talk to them so that is a plus too! <3 For this who aren’t bloggers or book lovers, I can see it really being difficult for them to understand just like I find it difficult to understand partying, drinking, and stuff, but hey, they do it.

  15. People know I read, and read a lot, but not a lot know about the blog. I actually have two FB accounts, so i keep it separate from my normal life… people just don’t get it!

  16. Olivia-Savannah

    Hm, I know the feels on this one. I did actually write a discussion post a while ago when I told my friends and everyone about it. I always tell people that I write, so I don’t mind that. But when it comes to blogging it was a lot harder because well, I felt like a complete booknerd xD I’d told some of my select friends and yeah, they followed me and were supportive but I didn’t expect them to care too much because I know reading blogs isn’t their thing. Some subscribed by email and some actually do read it often. When I made a facebook page I decided to invite all my friends – and I also made an instagram that was a bookstagram connected to my facebook so xD Now everyone knows and it was surprising how supportive they all were and accepting? I mean, I have a reputation for loving books but it could be a worse one, judging from the ones I know. And some people actually look out for my posts and such. Not that everyone cares though xD

    • Welllll you’re one step ahead of the game than me because NONE and I do mean NONE of my friends care what I’m up to, and I was always known as that one girl that read a lot in high school which is probably why i’m so anti-scocial IRL. But it’s okay because you have found yourself an AWESOME community that supports you and loves to read what you put out! <3 Keep up the awesome work girl!

      • Olivia-Savannah

        I really hope that at some point you can find a community like that as well. I mean, it’s wonderful to have people who are interested in what you do and support you! I think true friends need to be like that.

  17. Oh I totally agree with this – I don’t really talk about my blog either, and have even said – no, don’t visit it, when I have mentioned it just cause I feel like they don’t really care. If I had a IRL friend who was big into reading – at least as much as I am, maybe that would be different. I feel like I would love to get a friend into the awesomeness of blogging. 🙂 But it’s weird that we don’t like to talk about it – but I think that if you told anyone you write books, that is automatic coolness points. People have to understand how awesome that is! 🙂

    • Girl me too! I just feel like if I tell them and I see that glazed look in their eyes , I KNOW they don’t care nor do they want to hear it so it always ends with me awkwardly ceasing to explain in mid sentence….yeah. the struggle is real C!

  18. THis post is so terrific! It’s so weird, a lot of people don’t really understand 1) blogging and 2) book blogging and what’s involved! I tell a few people who ask, but sometimes when they bring up that they read my blog I am like O_O you know about my secret internet life.

    • Bahaha J, you just described very accurately how I feel on a daily basis whenever I tell someone I write books… I feel super awkward and just….uncomfortable. (Mainly because I don’t think they’ll care, you know?)

  19. Jade @ Bedtime Bookworm

    Great post! I know what you mean 😀 I have told many people that I have a blog, but I haven’t shared the URL with them (most of the time they don’t even ask, and I don’t offer it up unless they ask!). My sister reads my blog because she loves books too. The few other people in my life who know I blog and know the URL don’t really look at it, and I’m okay with that because then I don’t have to worry about what they will think. I do what I want on my blog LOL. If someone in my real life was super interesting in what I had to say about books, I wouldn’t mind them reading my blog – but part of the reason I even have a blog to begin with is because I don’t have anyone in real life to talk to about the books I read!

    • Girl I haven’t even gone to the lengths of giving out my URL, (I guess like you, I would be too worried about what they would think and if they would even care enough to look?) But, that is just unneeded and unnecessary stress annnddd: AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! Teehee That’s why I feel it’s super cool to know everyone from everywhere and they have the same interests as me, you know? <3

  20. I blogged for a month before I even told my husband. I never would have told anyone in my *real* life but my husband outed me to his family and a few coworkers.

    I feel like it’s my little space of like minded people and I don’t want to be judged or talk about it with anyone else except my bookish peeps.

    My MIL now feels the need to send me every link about John Green or every upcoming book trend lol

    I just try to block out that anyone I know is reading it.

    Karen @For What It’s Worth

    • Wow Karen! For a whole month you never told anyone? Well, I can’t talk because when I’m working on something on my blog and then someone creeps over my shoulder I’m all like O_o…DON’T LOOK OVER MY SHOULDER MANNNN. And you’re totally right! It’s our little space in the internet and I love meeting all of my bookish friends just like you! <3

  21. Keionda you are speaking to my heart! <3 I kid you not, these are all things I have pondered on myself, particularly in hesitating to share the fact that I have a blog with others! I fear that they will cast judgement and misinterpret my passions – which is why I have not shared my blog with those close to me yet. I will say, however, that I did share my blog with my momma and my sister, and like you, I have been waiting to see at least one comment from them.

    Also, you're so right, this whole blogging thing, it definitely is not easy. I loved this post so much! Truly, I enjoy all your discussion posts; they're so engaging!

    • Awww thanks chica! I’m kinda hesitant to share that I have a blog, but then other times I’m just like: WHO THE HECK CARES? Either you’re going to like it and think it’s cool…or you’re not. (But it’s really hard sometimes, because COME ON, we want everyone to like our ideas and what we’re up to but that’s not always the case, you know?) And girl, I have long since stopped waiting for my family to come and comment on one of my posts…yup. not gonna happen. bahaha

  22. I agree! I mean, I’ve brought it up once or twice, when I started out but I learned pretty quickly that to most non-bloggers, their image of a blogger’s just someone who hides up in an attic or something writing up posts. Which sucks. So at the moment, save for my mom (she was super confused when books started showing up in our mailbox) and my dad (who’s probably forgotten by now), none of my friends and family know I blog. It’s not like I’m trying to keep it a secret – I’d tell if it ever came up, but it doesn’t, so I figure it’s probably for the best. And yeah, definitely, this blogging thing’s not easy. But I figure as long as my bloggy friends know about it, that’s enough for me 🙂

    • Hey Chri! (LOVELY name btw) we’re SO much alike! I’d never go out of my way to tell someone about my blogger life BUT if they ask, I’m not just going to deny it. (we bloggers have too much pride) hehe I haven’t received any books in the mail because..KINDLE. But I’m really missing the feel of a real, physical book, you know? Blogging isn’t easy but when you get to meet awesome and inspiring peeps like you, it makes ALL the difference! <3