So, yes, This Tots IRKS Meh…

Posted May 2, 2016 by Keionda Lei Lewis in Discussion / 27 Comments

this irks meh

This discussion post is kind of “heavy” but I thought I would talk about it mainly due to the fact that as bloggers, I’m sure this has happened to all of us at some point (or if it hasn’t happened to you yet, brace yourselves because…..)MAD                                               

                                              *commence rant*

Being ignored: IT. SUCKS.

 

Whether it be by other bloggers, authors, or publishers, it hurts. 🙁 It’s like, I took all of this time to contact you and to be all friendly with you and all I get is an “ignore?” Pfft, Keionda won’t be talking

to you anytime soon. 

 

I just followed some other blogs and commented on their posts, basically being supportive and giving my opinion and all that good stuff. And guess what?

 

They didn’t even reply back! Seriously?? (I mean, I know life gets busy but I make a point to answer every comment.) I get it though, we get behind, things happen. I’ve responded back to comments a week AFTER. But at least I came back and took the time to acknowledge the commenter’s presence! Know what I’m saying? 

                                                                                                                                                                         

I’m totally the pot calling the kettle neon pink since I have been that one blogger that didn’t comment back because I WAS GOING THROUGH SOME THANGS and was super busy during the time. 

26                                                                

                                                    Some authors are epical at ignoring you…

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

I mean, HELLEEER, I’m a fan of your books and if I fangirl, telling you how much I LURVED your books or even commenting on something funny you said on social media, DON’T FLIPPING IGNORE ME. You’re not doing me a favor by answering me. That’s all I’m saying. Being an aspiring author I make it a point to respond to comments and to reach out, be inspiring… (pfft, sometimes) But most of the time when I take the time to comment on something they said, I’m usually ignored.

                                                          WHAT THE FRICK FRACK PADDY WHACK??

200

It doesn’t take a lot of brain cells or time to comment back or to simply “like” the comment. Heck, I know life gets busy so you can just like my comment, I aint a picky. But I’ll be a happy camper and won’t have to do a rant-y discussion post. 

 

That’s all I’m sayin’.

                                                                                                                                               

I believe in responding to ALL my comments as well as going back on the person’s blogs and commenting back. (Same for Twitter) Obviously this isn’t what everyone does and that’s okay too. I’m just saying that’s not how I roll. I want everyone to feel loved and to feel like they’re a part of a community that is loving and supportive.

                          *rant officially ova* Keionda. OUT.      

proud      


           Now it's your turn 2

So tell me guys, has this happened to you? Was it with a blogger that didn’t respond to you? With an author or publisher that ignored your entire existence? Or was it someone else? DID IT GIVE YOU THOSE SAD FEELS?? I know I can’t be the only one in this. Sigh.

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27 responses to “So, yes, This Tots IRKS Meh…

  1. I’m certainly guilty of not replying to comments. I, however, do try to get over to visit everyone’s blog. I’m too tired and stressed to reply and visit, so I go with visits and try to reply on weekends. Sometimes it doesn’t happen that way, but I read each and every comment. If I can get in some visits before work, then I can try for replying after work. It depends on my frame of mind and time.

    • I SO AGREE WITH YOU! These past couple of weeks I’ve really been going through it and just been stressed, tired, and not in the mood to reply to comments. Yes, it’s weird and ODD, but I have to be in a certain mood to reply back because I want to be genuine and HAPPY even in my replies. You’re so not alone right now! Here’s to the both of us getting out of this funk we’re in lovely! WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHA! <3

  2. It is sad to see that happen but maybe they will comment eventually? You never know! I do know authors are super busy but I do love those that reply back even if it is just a thanks so much! It means something. 🙂

    • Gah! I know, I KNOWWW Ali, but all I’m asking for is just a “like” maybe even a smiley face to something that I said. But I’ll try to think like you do and not get offended every time they may not reply back. 😉

  3. Yep. It really sucks to be ignored. This happened to me a lot when I was a baby blogger and it was no fun at all. I don’t need a person to comment back on my blog or anything. I don’t comment with that kind of expectation, but if I ask a question, I’d like to be acknowledged and you know responded to. I know it’s harsh but I never visit blogs that used to ignore me when I first started. If they didn’t want to forge any kind of relationship, then that’s fine. Some of them definitely tried to get an in with me after I rose to bigger stats, but lol I wasn’t having any of it.

    Oh man, those authors who don’t acknowledge you … There’s one author in particular who comes to mind. She blatantly ignored every fan who tweeted her a review link before pub date or even after. And she was a debut. I’ve heard she’s absolutely terrible to fans at her events too, so guess it’s just part of her personality. It’s not hard to like or RT a tweet. -_-

    Anyways, I agree with this post, wholeheartedly!! It’s hard when it happens, but ehh during my 5 years of blogging, I’ve learned to grow thicker skin. You need it to survive this community some days!

    • THANKS for some sound and stellar advice! Your blog was one of the very first ones that I actually interacted with and I always remember you being so friendly and lovely! <3 I’m so glad to have met you! You’re awesome! 🙂 Its super hard to be ignored and YESSS, if I could at least get a RT or a ‘like’ I would be satisfied, but sometimes… (dos too the time) that doesn’t happen! Developing thicker skin in this community is DEF a must! <3

  4. I definitely find it frustrating to read out to people and have them not respond. I understand people get busy, but if I comment several times and just get silence, I stop commenting because I feel my comments aren’t being valued. Sometimes I also take a hint and see that 30 people commented on a post and the blogger didn’t reply to any of them. I just don’t leave a comment then.

    • I SOOO agree with you Briana! 🙁 After the second or third time when I don’t get ANY kind of interaction, I kind of just stop going to that blog. I feel that if a person doesn’t want to get to know me or at least TRY to talk back with me, (HECK, EVEN A SMILEY IS FINE) then Im not going to waste precious time trying to make them be my friend. It’s sad, BUT the truth. ;/

  5. Sophia Rose

    It doesn’t ever feel good to be ignored. I try to return comments and visits as soon as I can, but I suspect I’ve missed a few over the years. So I don’t get hurt feelings, I go into all this with the mindset that I can’t control others or know their circumstances, but I do know and control my own so that’s what I work with. For everyone who ignores you, there are other dear folk who don’t and that encourages and can make your day. 🙂

    • YOU SOPHIA, have always since the BEGINNING been super lovely nice, awesome, supportive, and AWESOME-CAKES! I always love talking back and forth with you on your blog and here! But yes, yours so right! We don’t’ know the person’s circumstances as to why we’re being ignored but don’t just IGNORE us either. 🙁 I’m trying to think more positive and be more understanding though! So thank you for always being there and leaving me awesome comments! They always, always make my day! <3

  6. I once asked a publisher if they could send me an ARC, but I never got a response back. I guess it must have slip through the cracks :p Ah well, it stings but it can’t be helped 🙂

    • WOW. REALLY? Were they a big publisher? I can see sometimes how that could happen, but the least they could do is say either yes or no… it’s one simple sentence, but OBVI people can’t be counted on for THAT. 🙁 I hope you still got your book?

  7. I always reply to comments on my blog. I try to reply back to people who comment on my blog. It might not always be a one to one, so I might not get a response every single time, but I will try to make a effort to visit and reply to you. It might also been done several posts on one day as I have time. I get that everyone is busy, so I don’t expect someone to respond every time. But to ignore all the time is frustrating.

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Rabid Reads

    • RIGHT! We’re human. We’re busy. We FORGET. But, as long as it ones become an ALL THE TIME THING, in which Im constantly being ignored, I’m fine with it. You’ve always been awesome with replying back to comments on your blog, usually the same day! WHERE THE HECK DO YOU FIND THE TIME GIRL BECAUSE I JUST…CAN’T..

  8. Ha! Your rant comes just after a week of me ignoring EVERYONE. But I was sick so good excuse lol

    I used to be upset by it but now I just move on. I think I mentioned this in your comment back post – but I do this to interact and talk books with people. While I don’t demand people respond back I don’t see the point of doing all this otherwise.

    But life happens and I’ve talked to a lot of bloggers who are just hanging on with only enough time to post and nothing else so I guess we don’t really know what’s going on with people IRL.

    I give authors more leeway because I know they have a lot on their plate that we don’t even realize – 100’s of emails/tweets/deadlines…but if they want endless promo from us or only come out to talk when they need to sell something and don’t interact otherwise then I take a pass.

    Karen @For What It’s Worth

    • AWWW! I’m so sorry to hear that you were sick! That’s never any fun! 🙁 I hope you’re feeling better now? And, I KNOWWWW, people have lives outside of blogging and AUTHORS holy crap, I can’t even imagine! But the thing is, like you said, if they want to sell something then they should take the time to interact with us, the people that are going to help sell their books for them. UGH. Now, I’m ranting. AGAIN. teehee! But thanks for this sound advice because it did make me feel TONS better! <3

  9. I am ok with people not commenting back or replying but I am just less apt to visit those blogs as much. I try to reply back to everyone and stop by everyone who comments. It doesn’t ALWAYS happen but I try my hardest. I am too scared to interact with authors so I don’t have that problem 😛 I totally get it though! Great post!!

  10. evaallbooksconsidered

    Thanks for the honest post! I definitely do not always reply to comments but I always try to visit the commenter’s site and comment on one of their posts. I totally get why this irks you and I have also been on the receiving end of a lot of ignoring lately — it definitely sucks!

  11. This has happened to me more times than I care to admit. It’s not necessary to ignore people. But some people get a certain amount of followers and comments and they don’t feel obligated to follow or comment back. It sucks and it’s rude. This blogging thing can be hard!

  12. I’m sorry but girl, when you said HELLLERRR I died lmao. But no I definitely get you! I respond to my comments all at once, to be sure I don’t miss anyone and to avoid having to keep coming back to check for more. I also noticed that some bloggers don’t ever reply to comments. I tend to avoid them. I’m taking the time out of my precious day, you better fucking respond to my damn comment, especially when I actually try to be meaningful and not leave something like ” great review! “. I think it’s really rude when ppl flat out ignore you!

  13. I always try to reply to comment and comment back for this reason. i want everyone who leaves a comment on my blog to know that I appreciate it and return the favour. Then again I don’t mind to much when others don’t, but it would be nice if they either reply or comment back now and then so at least you have the feeling they saw your comment.
    I don’t expect authors to comment or like my comment, but I do think it would be nice if they did. But especially the popular authors probably get tagged so often they can’t keep up. I once had one of my favourite authors like my tweet and I was so excited or when a publisher or authors likes or retweets my tweet it makes me all happy that they saw it. And sometimes when I don’t have time to tweet back I at least hit that like button when someone mentions me on twitter, so at least they know that I saw it. i think that’s the most important thing acknowledging them and showing you saw their comment. tweet etc.

  14. Frick frack paddy whack indeed. I’m going to use that at EVERY opportunity now.

    I used to be so hurt when I first started really getting into my blogging and learnt about comments and networking. I would comment on so many blogs until my fingers were cramped from typing, but I was lucky to have perhaps one or two people interested in interacting with me, which I was thrilled about. It DOES hurt when you’re looking to make friends and form a connection with another blogger, whether it’s over books or a sharing of an opinion.

    At the moment, I think so many bloggers seem to be in a funk too. I’m just plodding along myself, but I find joy in other peoples blogs more so at the moment and try to visit as many as possible. If you ever want to chat Kei, hit me up on Twitter <3 <3

  15. I admit I definitely have fallen behind on comments before, and when it gets to be over a month…well sometimes it’s easier to just skip straight to visiting their blogs rather than also replying to a comment they’ve definitely forgotten about.

    I agree and also disagree with authors commenting back. I mean, it definitely would be AMAZING if they can reply to each and every single one of us, but I also like to think that they’re busy typing away a new book instead of replying. Which is a-ok with me, as long as I can get my hands on that new book asap!

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Keionda! x

  16. I haven’t contacted authors too much, mainly because I feel shy about it! But I do remember writing Sarah Dessen when I was a young teen and telling her about how much I loved her book “Dreamland.” I never heard back from her, but that’s okay with me. She gave readers her personal email, so expect she was flooded with letters. And, I knew from following her blog that she’d just had a kid. But as for bloggers, I do wonder sometimes where people are if I haven’t heard from them! I get it though, because real life can slam people and take them away from blogging at times. Thanks for sharing this! 😀

  17. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, because life can get complicated. And I’ve had some months this year when I had good reasons for being really behind on comments (both answering and visiting.) But if someone ignores me more than a few times, I’m moving on! If a blogger doesn’t care about getting comments, that’s fine with me!

  18. Oh I know what you mean. It can be disheartening for people to just ignore you, but I guess we all know we have different things going on. Or maybe they just don’t care. But if they never respond, I just give up on them. Life’s too short to hold grudges 🙂

    Unless they acted like a dick. In which case. Grudge away lol

    I’ve not replied to comments for a while, but I always make a point to visit (and I will get to replying soon – I just haven’t been on my blog very much).

  19. This definitely happens to me, but I only start noticing if I spend a lot of time visiting a blog and I never get even one comment back. Lately we’ve been pretty bad with responding to comments because we’ve had a lot happening this month – it’s been a difficult month in term’s of real life! But yeah, I can definitely relate to your feelings sometimes. You just need to get it out.