Me? Being SOCIABLE? Pfft. Dare To Dream.

Posted April 18, 2016 by Keionda Lei Lewis in Discussion / 34 Comments

bad social skils

No lie.

Like, I really wish I was lying. But….. I ain’t.

It’s no secret that I have some very sorry social skills, although no one would ever really KNOW it because, well..I don’t always SHOW it.

I think it all has to do with the fact that I don’t know HOW to be social? I mean, besides the whole “hey, how are you? What you be reading lately?”

           Besides all that good stuff, I really have no clue of what it MEANS to be *gulp* SOCIAL. 

I think I’m really bad at this IRL. It’s really quite sad actually. I just…can’t. In real life social interaction where people

How many of us have a fear of being judged? 

I think once I start doing it more and more, like LEGIT, FORCING MYSELF TO DO IT, I think I’ll get better at it. But pfft, let’s be for real here, I think half of us book worms, bloggers are KINDA just like that. It’s in our chromosomes. Our blood cells. Our bones. (Ehh.. you catch my drift) so yeah, I think some of us are more comfortable online whole some of us are more comfortable with face to face interaction. (I don’t happen to fall into either ONE of these catagories, no matter how much I want to.

Like this story I’m about to tell you (well, in its essence, it isn’t REALLY a story, maybe just like one or sentences) is what happened to me, which is something that tends to always happen to me.

13

           AN ACCURATE EXAMPLE OF MY UNASHAMED ANTI-SOCIALNESS.

Person I know: *Shopping for a bag of Jalapeño Cheetos*

Me: *Wanting bag of Jalepeño Cheetos as well, but pfft in know that person and am at the height of my anti-socialness.* *makes an attempt to avoid eye contact, slowly back away, and turn*

Person I know:  *turns at just the convienent moment and sees me right before I can hyper kick run around the corner*

“Hey Kei! What’s going on?”

Me: *shoulders slump when I realize I’ll now have to do the “social talking thing like likes normal human*

Friendly person: “What you up to giirrlll? haven’t seen you in FO-EVA.”

Me: …..*bright smile* “Oh haaayyyyyy. I didn’t see you there.

Pretty much sums up my life/ every social encounter minus the bag of Jalapeño Cheetos, unless which of course you WANT the bag of Cheetos and that is totally fine with me.

BYE

 But like I said before, I think most of it has to do with the fact that I’m afraid of being judged? Or freezing up and saying something totally stupid, (which usually happens like 98.9997766 of the time. (Believe me, I can tell you some stories) I don’t want to look or sound stupid. I don’t want to be embarrassed. I WANT TO be up to date on current events and the “lingo” of the 21st century. It’s quiet sad.

Take for example, my sister (19) told me one day to “get-out-of-my-feelings” of course my response was to look at her confused. Her response was to pat me on the shoulder, shake her head and say, “Keionda, it means you need to quit being so emotional.” 

Huh.

But it’s awkward situations like that that always happens to me. IT’S ALWAYS ME. THIS IS WHY I DON’T TALK TO PEOPLE. FO REAL.


Now it's your turn 2

Are you guys feeling me? LIKE ARE YOU REALLY FEELING ME? If you are, can you relate to anything that I’ve said? What are some stories that you guys have run into whwre you were just so socially awkward that you wanted to promptly hide your head in like, a brown paper bag? For life?
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34 responses to “Me? Being SOCIABLE? Pfft. Dare To Dream.

  1. Sophia Rose

    I struggle with small talk and do better when it’s more of a guided conversation like a meeting or something. But yeah, all sorts of awkward going on inside me most of the time. 🙂

    • Teehee! I’m so glad i’m not the only introvert out there! And like you, I can ONLY communicate when it’s a guided conversation because if not…. I RUN AWAY. Not really, but on the inside, I’m screaming! :0

  2. YES! I relate to this so much. I’m very anti-social and very much introverted. I prefer to stay in doors and not have anything to do with people at all. I get a lot of slack for it too from friends and family, but ugh, let me be me please. I’m sincerely trying to make more of an effort to be less awkward and more sociable, but it’s hard. I constantly worry that my personality is bland and that I’m not witty or funny enough for anyone.
    Being social is not as easy as extroverts make it sound!

    • WE ARE SO TWINNING RIGHT NOW NICK! I prefer to stay indoors, and to not be bothered with social interaction AT ALL. And yes! I feel the same way ! Just let me be, I don’t want to go out, go to the movies, go party, drink. Just let me read. And color. 🙂 And OMG, Nick you are SO not boring or bland! I can always pick your personality when you’re writing (I’m the same way!) Better at written communication than actually..oral communication.. So, you’re so not alone! <3

  3. I was painfully shy as a child and sadly that hasn’t completely gone away as an adult although since having kids I’m way better than I use to be but in some cases, I am still that awkward girl that says weird things LOL! Maybe one day I will grow out of that as well. 😛

    • I can DEF see how teaching would bring you out of your introvert nature (but see… I don’t really like teaching little kids or big kids for that matter so I have a feeling I would be quiet awkward…) 😉

  4. I’m SUPER shy and most people don’t realize that because no one ever seems that way on line. Then when I go to events I’m afraid to meet anyone IRL because I am positive that they will be like…omg she is SO BORING in person lol

    Blogging has helped push me out of my comfort zone but I don’t think I’ll ever be a social butterfly.

    Karen @For What It’s Worth

    • I FEEL THIS WAY TOO! I’m so amazed that so many people truly feel this way! (I always thought I was alone in all of this!) But now that I see I’m not, I feel WAAYYY better! And yes, blogging has definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone! <3 xoxo

  5. I feel you Keionda! I think I was much more anti-social when I was younger, though and I forced myself to be a little more outgoing or just open because I didn’t want to feel so uncomfortable. I think it will always be a little uncomfortable, but it’s nice when you respond to people you don’t really know and just have a nice interaction. Blogging is definitely easier for that though, and I think it does help me interact more than I usually would.

    • I tried this at work Charlene! I got to the point to where I stopped trying to dodge customers and co-workers and I just started to go out of my way and talk to them..Not saying it wasn’t super awkward, but YESS, it does help a bunch! <3

    • Jenn… I DESPISE small talk. It’s like… WHAT THE WHAT? What’s the point of it?? Like when I’m on the elevator with someone and they’re there and I’M there… and it’s all quiet. I’m just like, “hi”

      A.W.K.W.A.R.D.

  6. I so can’t stand to be around people. DH loves people and drags me to parties and then leaves me alone and I panic. I just want to hide in a corner. I’m okay around people I know, but strangers, take me home. I also prefer smaller groups, of like less than 10. More than that and it stresses me out. I’ve done the hiding in the grocery store thing before.

    My mom says I was great at being social when I was a kid. I don’t know what happened, but I have a hard time with it now. I think it comes from the fact that I make some people uncomfortable because I say exactly what I’m thinking. I don’t sugarcoat things and many people don’t like that. It makes them uncomfortable, which makes me uncomfortable, but I’m also not good at turning it off. Oh, well. I’d rather be home reading a book anyway. 🙂 Great post.

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Rabid Reads

    • OMG, OMG, OMG!! I can totally relate to this Mels!! It’s like… how in the world am I to SURVIVE in a room full of strangers. But, believe it or not, some people actually THRIVE with that kind of social interaction?? You and ME? PFFT. PASS.

      I think I was always this way, but I think most of us are less cautious as kids and more willing to meet people and even say hi. But, growing up makes us more wary and..well….not sociable. 😉

  7. Hilarious! I mean I suck at social interaction too but that’s because I don’t think I’m doing it properly but oh well, at least we’re not the only awkward ones.

    • HEEEY JAAZZZ! Of course you’re not alone guh! I ALWAYS, ALWAYS feel awkward after “social interaction.” I’m always like” “Did I say that right?” or “Do they think I’m totally weird now?” After I send this comment, I’ll probably worry about what I just wrote. NO. LIE.

  8. YES to everything you said! I feel you, girl. In some way it was worse when I was younger (teens/early 20’s) because I felt like everyone else was fine and I was the only one who felt that was. Awkward, unsure, scared of saying something stupid so saying nothing instead, etc. And in some ways it’s worse now because I feel like OMG, I’m over 40 I should be over this by now. Ugh! But I’m not really. I still loathe social situations and freeze up every time. Now I try to put the “fake it until you make it” theory to the test. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I mentioned this a while back in front of my mother and she was like, “What do you mean? You’re always so outgoing!” And I wanted to say, “do you know me at all??” But apparently faking it sometimes works because I have my own mother fooled. Ha!

    Tanya @ Girl Plus Books

    • OMG! OMG! YES! I’m SO like this! With the whole “fake it till you make it” approach, that is SO me! I always feel bad when I’m like this but at the same time… sometimes, we just don’t want to talk! I feel like everyone is always so outgoing and confident while I’m in the corner like… *hi* and then *blushes*

      THE STRUGGLE IS SO REAL T. IT IS SO REAL.

  9. I am a serious introvert as well! Like, I relate to that Alessia Cara song, “Here” partly. You know, the one about the girl who goest to the party and is all, “I’ve had it, I want to leave!”
    But I only relate to it *in part* because I never would have made it to the party in the first place!! Thanks for this wonderful, thoughtful post! <3

    • OMG ELLEN! hahaha You made me smile! That is so true though because, I NEVER can be counted on to do any kind of social interaction outside of my house. LIKE. NO. xoxo!

  10. I’m so not up with the latest slang with teens, I had to ask another blogger what the hell shipping was. I really don’t know what I’d class myself as, I’m a bit of both really but I tend to keep my blogging and real life worlds separate. Mainly because reading / blogging is a hobby and escape in the form of relaxing for me and I prefer to keep the two worlds separate apart from the blogging friends I’ve made which have made the jump over. But even as confident as I am, I’m still super awkward. But the difference at my age is that I don’t care so much about how I’m perceived nowadays. I think if others want to judge me, then that tells me what kind of person THEY are, not what kind of person that I AM. I’d still rather be at home reading. Wonderful post Kei and thank you so, so much for sharing <3

    • OMG. I HAD THAT SAME QUESTION… What the heck is a SHIP? What is SHIPPING? And HEA or OTP??? Like… WHAT THE WHAT? But fret not Kels, I’m 23 and even I can’t even be counted on to know that slang…Your words are so true Kels! “I think if others want to judge me, then that tells me what kind of person THEY are, not what kind of person that I AM.” I can relate to this so much and I’m happy to say that day by day I’m actually getting better at it! If they don’t like what I have on, or what I have to say, then DON’T LISTEN. <3

      YOU DA BOMB K!

  11. I’m a social (media) butterfly. I’m more personable online than in real life. The problem with me is the lack of time to spend hours, well, online. Quandary, I know.

  12. I wonder if introvertedness and being afraid/uneasy/not talented when it comes to social endeavours are related and, also, if they’re particularly prevalent in people who adore readng? I mean, I definitely don’t seek social situations out, but I can imagine really enjoying myself at a gathering of book lovers, or at an author event, because we’re all passionate about the same thing (mostly) and maybe that makes it easier to relate?
    xx

  13. Olivia-Savannah

    Okay I used to have this issue a lot myself but at the moment I don’t have it nearly as much as I used to. I don’t have it so much because I’m not sure how, but I switched my mindset to one of – okay, I mess up, and I mess up a lot. But you know what? I make myself look a whole lot worse than I do in real life in my mind, and that’s just fine. It’s okay to mess up. And sure, I’m clumsy and all but that’s perfectly okay! And the more you break out of your shell and practice your epic socialness I know you have inside, then you will ace it. You can do it, Keionda <3

  14. aentee @ read at midnight

    I deffinitely have to admit that I’m a bit of an awkward person in social situations too, especially when I was younger. Due to my current job, which makes me deal with new people on a regular basis, I am getting better. I feel that I am currently more shy on the Internet than I am in real life, haha.

  15. Awww Keionda, I was rather awkward when I was your age too but you definitely grow out of it as you feel more comfortable with who you are! Just know it does get better <3 and it sounds like you're doing just fine.

  16. I can be social. I occasionally drag myself out for a beer with co-workers when what I really want is to go home and sit quietly with my cat. But, I can also fail at being social too. It’s not that I’m afraid of being judged (although, I’m sure it USED to be when I was younger). But, I turn 28 in a few months, so I’m encroaching on that age where I just don’t care if people like me or not because I have more important things to deal with. What I struggle with is small talk because I never learned the skill. I mean, I find small talk wholly unnecessary. It’s often just habitual politeness (Person A: Hey, how are you? Me: Uh…fine?) because you know they don’t really care that much. Or people are just pointing out the obvious (Person A: Gosh it’s really snowy out! Me:…yep. My Internal Dialogue: Obviously. It’s February and we live in Michigan. Why wouldn’t it be snowy?) It’s like they’re afraid of silence or something.