How Do YOU Feel About This?

Posted April 25, 2016 by Keionda Lei Lewis in Discussion / 23 Comments

obligated to comment

As a new blogger, this was something that frequently went through my mind, over and over again. It’s like, I wanted to make all these friends and I wanted to be everywhere all at once but it was SO HAWD. Not to mention all of the times I got pressure headaches from all the, well, all the pressure from trying to be everywhere and talk to everyone all at the same time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     There have been a ton of varying opinions on this. Some say they DO feel obligated to comment back whole others feel that they don’t. Me, on the other hand, I’m kind of in the middle. It’s not that I feel obligated per say, to comment on someone’s blog but I like the fact that knowing I’m contributing back on their blog and that I’m making them feel better knowing that someone out there in the world is reading their stuff. I loved that feeling when I first started blogging when someone cares enough and actually READ, and took the time to give me their opinion.


                                                       ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THOSE LOVELY PEOPLES.


I had some major issues. I’ll tell you that right now.

                                                                                                                                                                            Now here’s another question for you, when YOU go on a blog and leave a nice little comment, do you expect that person to come back and comment on your blog? What if they don’t? Does it make you angry so much that you don’t go back to visit their blogs? To me, this doesn’t bother me TOO much but, pfft, it still does. When I get to the point to where I feel that I’m not getting any interaction (which is the whole point of blogging for me) or if I like we’re not connecting on a friendly/personal level…..meh…

I just don’t like feeling like I’m talking to a lifeless robot.

Now will I get mad if you don’t come back and comment on MY glorious blog?


                                                                          HECKS YEA. YOU BETTA BELIEVE IT.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Nah. I totally kid.

I like the fact that I was able to contribute to that person’s blog and when they respond to my comment it makes me all happy inside, they don’t neccesarily have to come back to my blog but it would be nice. But I don’t want it to be that they only come to my blog BECAUSE I commented on there’s. That’s another one of my pet bookish peeves. I want them to come because they want to come. NOT because lf any ties or obligations.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Does that make any sense? Probs not.


Another reason why I’m so gun-ho for commenting back is because it brings more exposure to you. Nine times out of ten if one of their followers happens to come to your page and see a person they follow following you, or even commenting on your post it’ll make that person feel a sort of kinship or connection with you. (Not sure if that makes any sense??)


So for all that comes with a nice person coming and commenting on your blog, why NOT reciprocate the favor by commenting back on their page?? That gets you even MORE exposure.

So, in short, what I’m trying to say is that the mpre you share the commenting love, the more people you’ll have coming to your blog and then in the end, the more followers you have. It works both ways. So get to commenting, yo! (At least, this is the way it’s worked out for me. Please, feel free to tell me I’m wrong below.) Don’t worry. I shan’t cry. Much. 

Now it's your turn 2

Do you guys feel the need to comment back? How do you feel if someone ignores you, doesn’t bother to comment back, or just straight up doesn’t even bother to reply back to that nice little, well-thought out comment?



23 responses to “How Do YOU Feel About This?

  1. I love this post Keionda! It’s definitely lovely to get comments back, and it’s fantastic for exposure to your blog. But commenting on other blogs, especially when you get so many of them can get pretty stressful so I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like it’s an obligation – so for me it’s def a nice to have. But if I don’t really get along with the blogger or if they never comment back then sometimes I wouldn’t bother leaving a comment, even though I still read their blog.

  2. I don’t feel obligated as such (I used to…) but I do like commenting back and I try to say something constructive or add to the conversation at their blog. If someone comments on my blog, and I go to theirs and just cannot think of anything to say – I don’t. Some people we just don’t gel with, and that’s okay.

    I found most of the blogs I follow through someone else’s blog posts, I’d like what they say in the comments and click through; or maybe I met them through a meme. There’s a bunch of people I visit regularly (like yourself), and others I don’t visit as much. But if someone doesn’t interact with me (on their blog or mine) at all then I tend to stop visiting, it’s not worth the effort to have a one sided conversation!

  3. I try really hard to comment back. Every now and then I don’t get to everyone or someone has a blog I don’t really have much to say on. I don’t get offended when someone doesn’t comment back. I have a couple of blogs I really enjoy and comment sometimes and they never comment on mine. It is what it is!! They usually do reply though so there is that. Great post!

  4. Comments mean a lot to me as a blogger, it means someone is actually really (and hopefully liking) what I’m posting and that is huge to me. I don’t do this for the comments but it is so nice to know that there are people out there actually looking at them you know? So yes, I do comment back if they have a blog because I know that awesome feeling of seeing comments and I appreciate the time they took to comment on my blog because I know how time consuming that can be sometimes.
    Do I feel pressure from it sometimes? Not exactly pressure about having to, but pressure sometimes of finding all the time to share the love back, if that makes sense? 😉

  5. I do return comments although I don’t expect or demand it be done in return. It’s nice though – and the whole point of blogging IMO lol

    I guess what I meant o say is I don’t need a direct – I commented so you need to comment for *each* one sort of thing (not every post inspires a comment and I don’t want anyone to feel that they must leave the dreaded – good post – comment out of obligation) but I do want some interaction or it’s not fun for me.

    Karen @For What It’s Worth

  6. I’m like you in that I’m somewhere in between. I don’t feel obligated to respond to every comment though I’ll admit that I used to before, but now I kind of just wing it and mix it up. I visit my favorites 2-3 times a week and then I’ll add in a couple of those who visited and left a comment too. It’s a nice gesture and I don’t want the person to feel like I’m ungrateful. I know when I first started, it was hurtful to be completely ignored and not acknowledged when you spent a LOT of time commenting. I agree that commenting around in general definitely brings more exposure to you and your blog which is always a great thing.

    So in conclusion, I don’t think anyone should feel pressured to comment back – with that kind of piggyback relationship, you can’t even be sure if a person is reading/commenting because they like your comment or because they are expecting a comment on their own blog – but from time to time, it’s a nice gesture.

    Great post, girl!

  7. Great post. I don’t expect people to come to my blog and comment every time I comment on their blog. If I’m at their blog and I comment a lot and say weeks later, I’ve never seen them on my blog, I might abandon them. There are so many blogs out there, it is hard to visit everyone, I would prefer to visit people who show their appreciation by visiting me too. That’s not to say, I expect a one to one visit. I don’t do that either. The people who are commenting on my blog a lot, I visit their blog a lot. I comment on their blog a lot. If I don’t have something to say about that post or review, I might not comment that day. I don’t expect them to comment on my blog every day either. Make sense? I think you should do what works for you.

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Rabid Reads

  8. Sophia Rose

    Your discussions are always thought-provoking and I love how they challenge me to analyze how and why I think or feel about stuff.
    As to commenting, I love receiving them even if its something short like ‘great review’. I will say ‘thanks’ and mean it. Because they stopped by and visited with me even if it’s virtual. If I don’t know them already, I will return the visit right then and there (and this is why it is important that people have their blog linked through their commenting accounts). If I do know them b/c they’ve visited before, I probably already follow and have them on my ‘visiting schedule/route’.
    I do not expect people to reply to my comments on their blogs though it is nice especially if I ask a question.

    Because I do see commenting as a form of ‘visiting’ and showing an interest in having a virtual relationship, I do tend to give up on visiting someone’s blog regularly if they make no attempt to reply to my comments or visit my blog in turn. Too many others that do show an interest and deserve my blogger love. 🙂

  9. I have my own bloglovin’ rules and shit. The thing is, I’m not going to keep coming back to your blog if you won’t even give mine the time of day. That’s just me. I usually initiate contact by leaving a comment on a new blog that followed me and if you don’t reciprocate, I’m not coming back. Friendships, relationships happen through a series of back and forth; give and take. It’s the same everywhere. So that’s my motto.

  10. I always return comments and visit my readers’ blog. They take out time from their busy schedule to comment, so it’s the least I can do. 🙂 Besides, I enjoy discovering new blogs!

  11. Interesting post Keionda! I do feel the need to comment back, but like you I think it’s more because I want to, and in appreciation that anyone would come to visit my blog. And it’s very encouraging to be able to interact with other bloggers by visiting each other’s blog. It makes me feel like I’m getting to know them. I think you are totally right in your post about the benefits of commenting back!

  12. evaallbooksconsidered

    Love the honesty — I really don’t think too much about commenting back anymore except when I have commented 5+ times on a blog and haven’t gotten a single comment, I do get annoyed a bit. Sometimes I even unfollow the person.

  13. Man, commenting. This is my biggest issue with blogging. I want to visit all the blogs, but who can? It is absolutely the most time consuming thing about blogging. I try to comment as often as I can but I still feel a sense of obligation. But the truth is I sometimes don’t have time and it seems like you get crucified for it. Like if you don’t comment, or comment back–most people say screw you and your blog. It’s just a lot to say on this topic. Thanks for bringing it up!

  14. I love commenting on other blogs, but know I don’t have the time to visit everyone, so comments back get my priority. I really appreciate everyone who comments on my blog, so if that’s the only time I make for commenting each day those will be comments back. Sometimes weeks go by when all I do is comment back. I made it a rule for myself to always comments back, although it can be stressful sometimes I am not willing to let go of my rule ;). I love visiting blogs, but give priority to those who commented on mine.

    On the other hand I don’t mind of others don’t comment back, I don’t really feel like it’s an obligation for bloggers to comment back. There are bloggers on who’s blog I comment and they rarely comment back and that’s okay, as long as I enjoy their blog I will still visit and comment, although I do think it would be nice to see them come back and visit my blog once in awhile as well. As commenting on each others blog creates that feeling of being friends. Great post!

  15. Great post, Keionda! Commenting is important to me and something I consciously do often. When someone takes the time to leave a comment on my blog, I *ALWAYS* comment back. Without fail. #1 – I love chatting it up in the comments and #2 – I don’t find it difficult to do. I’m not one of the big bloggers so I don’t have 200 comments on every post. LOL As far commenting on other blog I don’t do it every time but I try to do it often, particularly if I have something to say. It’s nice when they comment back but I don’t get bothered if it doesn’t happen. 🙂

    Tanya @ Girl Plus Books

  16. I don’t always comment back on blogs, but I do make an effort to do so if I notice a blogger has commented on my blog multiple times. I also reply to nearly every comment on my blog. It feels rude not to, and I know I stop commenting on blogs if the owner never replies.

  17. aentee @ read at midnight

    Great post, Keionda! Like you, I am somewhere in the middle in regards to commenting back. I try my best to comment back in a timely fashion – but when real life is particularly hectic I sort of just leave it wayside. I also only comment back when I have something meaningful to say, because I personally don’t like receiving generic one-liner comments myself. I do agree that commenting back is something very important, especially as a new blogger, to establish and maintain connections and friendship – though I don’t think anyone should feel forced into doing it/feel it’s a chore.

  18. I definitely like to comment back, and I want to comment back. I appreciate everyone and anyone who takes the time to read my blog. It’s just that it takes so much time, and our lives don’t always allow for it. So I feel terrible, but sometimes I might comment back a long, long time after the original comment was posted on my blog. Still, I try to make my best effort. I mean, that’s all we can really do. Great post, Keionda!

  19. Commenting on other blogs is definitely the most time consuming aspect for me. I tend to browse, read a few posts, leave a comment, notice you’re following someone new on a blog roll in your sidebar and before I know it, hours have gone by and I’m eating chips, listening to Beyonce with no recollection how I got from your blog to an online debate about which country has more sheep.

    I don’t feel obligated, but want to return the favour out of kindness of they’re not a blog I unduly read. There are a lot of blogs I also comment on that I doubt have even visited my blog, but I feel a great review / discussion / post is worth telling someone how appreciated that is. Even if it DOES take four hours while I’ve played bingo, watched a YouTube clip about fainting goats and donated to the Zac Efron abs fund.

    People should let me on a computer when I’m tired.

  20. jennifer@badbirdreads

    I think it’s common courtesy to comment back. It may take time to comment back sometimes but those people took the time to read a blog post and comment, why not continue the comment love chain?

  21. I love commenting back on bloggers who stop by and leave thoughtful comments on my post. However, I don’t comment just because. I will find a post on their blog that I am interested in and leave my comments there. If there isn’t, well I try to come back in a couple days to see if there is a post worth commenting on. 9 times out of 10, there is ALWAYS an interesting post, or a review that catches my eye.

    I don’t really care (well I do, actually) as much if they don’t comment back. BUT I LOVE IT when they do! I actually know of a very big blogger who comments back and I really appreciate that because I’m pretty sure she has tons of comments to reply to and blogs to visit.

    Commenting back actually helps you make friends in the community. I am not that active and well known in the community but I have a few loyal followers or bloggers that comment on my blog regularly. Similarly, I also head off to their blogs and leave comments. My favorite post to comment on are those discussion posts because it encourages intellectual conversation. 🙂

    And yes, I commented back. *wink

  22. Great discussion post, Keionda. I used to comment back to every single person who commented on my posts, and I still try to do it as much as I can, but lately I’ve been super busy and haven’t been doing it consistently. I try to comment back to as many as I can though because I know that when people comment back on my blog, it makes me really happy. But I don’t expect people to comment back because I know that I’m terrible at it sometimes.

  23. I definitely appreciate it when bloggers reach out! I wish I was better at doing it myself. But I definitely learned from the example of other bloggers and try to comment back and reach out when others made the effort to respond to my thoughts. Getting feedback is just golden and I try to never take it for granted.