Be The Unique Blogger YOU ARE.

Posted April 11, 2016 by Keionda Lei Lewis in Discussion / 38 Comments

unique blogger copia

As a still fairly new blogger it’s easy to get caught up in the success of another ore seasoned and super accomplished blogger for the reason being, BUT THEY HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS while I’m over here failing at life. I’ll be honest, I have those moments–in fact I still HAVE those moments. I’m sure we’ve all been at that low point. It’s happened to me at many times that I was literally considering the fact of why I was even doing this thing in the first place.

But then I figured something out….

 Come hither, and I shall satisfy your curiosity.

 Now, come closer.

 Just a liiitttlltle bit more.

There! There we go.

The thing is, we’re all unique so how can you stand out in the crowd if you’re constantly trying to SOUND or BE like someone else?

                                                                            BE THE AWESOME BLOGGER YOU ARE!

waving

Being a new blogger to the blogging community, and even as a writer this is something I used to struggle with. But you want to know the one thing that helped me to get out of that and to kick that thought in the face? The fact that it’s been a year and I have more experience and have a lot of people have helped.

But I found that the more I stopped comparing myself to people, the more I stopped fretting and BEATING MYSELF UP when I didn’t get as many views as I would have liked one day, I found that once I stopped all of this, I felt better.

 In short, I felt the PEACE, yo.

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And that peace was so glorious I can’t even describe it.  I can’t tell you how happier I am now that I’ve stopped comparing myself to others, the amount of followers and comments they have because what matters is this: (is found this quote and really related to it so I hope it relates to you guys as well)

“The biggest challenge in life is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else.”

Stop comparing yourself to others and start comparing yourself to the you you were yesterday.

 Did it hit you in the FEELS? If not…Pfft. KEIONDA DON’T CURR. (Nah, I really do)

While what I’m saying doesn’t take over night and then BOOM you’re this awesome, fearless homo sapien blogger that compares him/herself to NO OTHER. Yeah, probably not going to happen. As much practice as I’ve had and as many times that I’ve told myself not to do it, that doubt llama always comes back to me, all creepy-like, and whispers mean things in my ear making me be all negative Keionda once more.

                                              ‘Tis hard, this blogging life. ‘Tis very hard, yo.

But anywho, one thing that I would like for you guys to take away from this, it’s this: 

Just stop comparing yourself, stop focusing on the accomplishments of others, JUST BE YOUR AWESOME CAKES SELF and you’ll turn out just fine!

Because in the end, why would you want to BE or ACT like anyone else?


Now it's your turn 2

How often do you compare yourself to others? How long has it been since you started blogging and do you compare your success to what you used to be? Or are you totally awesome so you don’t have to worry about that type of stuff. (If so, I’m totally jealous and you should TOTALLY devulge me all your wonderful secrets. *cue the manical laughter*

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38 responses to “Be The Unique Blogger YOU ARE.

  1. Great post. I’m in a different situation in that I didn’t start with my own blog. I started by writing on someone else’s and then picked up a second blog that, again was someone else’s, to help me get followers. Since I started on blogs that already had a following, it made my life easier. I have always been the type of person who doesn’t judge myself on the success of others. But I’m also very much a perfectionist. I judge myself pretty hard against myself. I do try to look at other successful blogs and see what they are doing. If there are things that I see that they’re doing that I might like, I might try to incorporate into my review. I read many of the helpful posts that some of the bloggers post, but I don’t implement just because someone says to. I do what I want on that list, more as a suggestion tool. Pick and choose what will be my style. One day, I might have my own blog. I will use all of these things to create it the way I want. Great post. 🙂

    Melanie @ Hot Listens & Rabid Reads

    • YES! YES! AND YES! It’s interesting to know how you started out Mel! I cant believe you started out with 2 blogs? WOW! I commend you because I know one blog is a lot of work but with 2 blogs I can’t even imagine! 🙂 But you’re right, I imagine it must have been a lot less stressful for you jut string out because the blogs already had a following and things so you didn’t have to worry about that type of thing! And yes, being yourself an not allowing people to change you is a really good mindset to have!
      STAY EPICAL, LOVE! <3

  2. Exactly! I had such a big blogging slump a few years ago and once I stopped worrying about ALL THE BLOG THINGS and just did what felt right for me everything fell into place.

    I don’t check my stats anymore. I never really compared myself to to other blogs. Instead, I try to find people with the same mindset about blogging – and I feel inspired by them.

    I could probably being doing a lot of things better for more page views but then I would hate blogging so it’s not worth it anymore if I want to stick around long term.

    Everyone needs to do what’s right for them! We don’t all blog the same way or want the same things from it – and that’s ok.

    Karen @For What It’s Worth

    • EXACTLY KAREN! I think that if we look more into HAVING FUN and logging instead of page views and looking at others’ successes, we should be focusing on our own successes and goals! <3 And yes, we could could be doing more things to get more page views and things but truthfully, I’m WAY too lazy to be counted on something like that! teehee!

  3. It’s so exhausting to constantly compare yourself to other people! The longer I blog, the more I find that I just don’t care what other people do! Haha. At the end of the day, it’s a HOBBY. This is a great reminder

    • YESSSS Amber! At the end of the day, what we’re doing is a hobby, nothing more, nothing less! And the less we stress about what others are doing, the happier and more fulfilled we’ll feel in the end! 🙂 xoxo

  4. My first few months of blogging was definitely hard. I compared myself to all of my favorite bloggers. Then I saw the light. I told myself to let the chips fall where they may. Not everyone writes their reviews the same. Some like to take the editorial approach, and others take the more direct approach where lots of feelings are involved. Me? I just say whatever is on my mind when I’m typing. There will always be a different feel to my posts, because of the moods I’m in. I can’t try to be like all the other bloggers around the web, because I’m too busy with my own stuff. I don’t like to compare stats, that’s why I never talk about them in my posts. They just don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Although, if you are that blogger who is trying to get on publisher’s list to send books to, it’s good to have a unique number of followers and comments. I just like saying what’s on my mind, and if no one wants to read my thoughts then that’s fine. This blogging is a hobby, my reading is a necessity. I mix the two because I want to let out my feelings, but whenever I decide to stop sharing my thoughts, you best believe I’ll still be reading.

    • EXACLTY L! And because of that, that’s why I l love to come to your blog so much because you always keep it real and at the same time, tell us what we need to know in a way that’s effective, fun, AND informative! And I really would hope that you never stop blogging and sharing wi etc us your thoughts. 🙁 NEEVVERR STOP! <3

  5. Sophia Rose

    Well, it’s tough to chime in since I’ve never actually had my own blog. I’ve guest blogged a few different places, but I’ve been Shari’s associate for four years. I’d like to think I’ve done my part to help increase our blog’s following, but I don’t sweat it if we aren’t at that wildly popular stage. I’ve watched others to learn, but never really felt envy. Maybe I got lucky and watched the right people b/c I can see that those with the bigger followings have put elbow grease in to get it there. Time and effort. They didn’t get lucky; they worked for it. I’m good with that. I put some work in, but not as much so I can’t very well expect as much. 😉
    You are right to grasp that being unique and you is the attraction to people coming to visit your blog.

    • I come and visits your posts so much that at one time I thought it was just your blog! You put SO MUCH into your posts and I love how lengthy and informative they are! I always love coming so I can get some good info on some good romances you’ve read! <3 YOU ROCK! And you are so right S! So many blogs that are popular out there have worked, and worked their butts off to get where they are today! All it takes is time and patience!

  6. It certainly took me awhile to realize that I’m blogging for all the wrong reasons. But from what I’ve learned, comparing our own content to others’ only leads to jealousy and competitiveness that has no room in this community. Competition leads to drama and drama means zero fun.

    • YES! Being part of this community is so much more than comparing each other and being competitive and then it amens as all unhappy which AINT fun! You’re so right! I’m so glad that you’ve finally realized this like I have! We can happier for it together! <3

  7. Love this, it’s totally true. It’s hard not to compare sometimes, or see other bloggers who have more attention and not want that, but I’m happy with where I am with my blog, and it’s still fun so that’s all that matters. This was a great pep talk Keionda! 😀

    • EXACTLY! I no longer pay attention to how many followers or comments another blog has…WHAT’S THE POINT ANYWAY?? There is not point because at the end of the day, what matters is how we’re growing as a blogger the longer and longer we do it! <3

  8. This is a great post, Keionda and one that I think a lot of bloggers can benefit from, newer ones and older ones. It’s hard for anyone not to want to compare yourself. I did that a lot when I started too. Everyone who started around the same time as I did was growing at a crazy pace and here I was being left behind. It wasn’t a fun feeling, and I tried to copy the style of other bloggers and it just wasn’t me. I realized that blogging was getting way harder than it should be and it wasn’t fun anymore. So I decided that I would do my own thing and there will be at least one person willing to read my post and that was more than enough for me. And you know what? It worked! I was able to find an audience, regular commenters/readers, make friends and most importantly, I was happy. There are definitely trends in the community. You can always tell when a blogger is trying to be like another blogger. And sometimes people who do notice it aren’t happy about it. So in the end, being yourself and doing your own thing is the best way to fully experience blogging in a fun way.
    Anyways, fabulous post!

    • OMG NICK, you sound so much like me right now! <3 I feel that the ones that stated around my time, have so much more SUCCESS than me and I’ve never been able to understand that, nor will I ever probably be able to understand that! It’s a shame but at the end of the day, it is what it is, you know? I’m super, duper happy that you were able to recognize this! (/And yes, you can always tell when a blogger is trying to act like another one in order to get more followers–I admit to have done this when I first started out but then BOOM, we find out blogging voice and that’s unique in itself!) xoxoxo

  9. Great post, Keionda! And no truer words have been spoken. I think it’s practically human nature to compare ourselves to others sometimes, but it can get out of hand. People get so caught up in it and usually find themselves lacking in comparison (in their own mind, not anyone else’s). I know I’ve done it before… this person has more followers or whatever. But at the end of the day, if you’re you’re happy with what you’re putting out there… who cares what everyone else is doing? You do you. 🙂 Life is so much better/easier when you let go of comparing yourself o everyone else. Do your own thing and let the rest go. 🙂

    Tanya @ Girl Plus Books

    • “Do your own thing and let the rest go” SO TRUE TANYA! <3 I couldn’t agree more! 🙂 If we’re happy with what we’re doing, then WHAT THE HECK MATTERS what others think? Or competition is with our own-selves! 🙂

  10. HELLOO!! LONG TIME NO SPEAK, LOVELY!!! Do you even remember me? (Won’t blame you if you don’t!) I just came back from my hiatus and was going through all my followed blogs which so desperately need reading when I stumbled across this gem of a post!! I totally agree with EVERYTHING you say here!! It’s actually very hard to stop comparing yourself with other bloggers, and I used to do it mercilessly, but now I realised that every blogger is awesomely different in their own way. Why shouldn’t that same principle apply to me?? I’m still guilty of doing it on occasion, but then, I’m only human, right? Love this post, Keionda! (I also love the changes that have taken place in this blog while I was away :D) Stay amazing! <3

    • HIIII Ranu! Gosh! It has been a long time! I’m so glad you’re back from your super long hiatus! <3 It’s always good to get some rest but know that we’re always here to welcome you back! It is super hard get first to stop comparing yourself to other people but that feeling when you finally make it to the point where you DON’T compare yourself anymore, it’s like…..WALA! Magic! <3

  11. Olivia-Savannah

    To stop comparing yourself to other people in all aspects of life – whether it is school grades, or blogging or anything else, it can be so difficult! And it leads to frustration and stress and basically all the things I want to avoid. Once I realised how much it wasn’t helping me in life, I worked to release myself from those negative thoughts. And everything is so much better for it! It makes me so happy to be free of it and that peace you mentioned? It’s so relieving!

    • Exactly Liv! What’s the point of comparing ourselves! Aint nobody got time for that! ;/ We have school, work, and al this other stuff to worry about! TRUE WORDS GUH! <3

  12. “Come hither, and I shall satisfy your curiosity.” HAHAH!!! I looooove this post! This is so spot on. It’s important to just focus on watering your own lawn rather than drooling over someone else’s. I’m a new blogger also and everything your said is real. Love it! Keep it up and I love your page

    Hope we can connect more 🙂

    • HIYA JENN! I’m SUPER DUPER glad to have met you! And that’s awesome that you’re a new blogger! i’m kind of new myself so it’s always nice to meet other new ones! <3 And you’re so right! it’s so much easier to focus on US than other people and their successes! We’ll get there one day with enough patience and determination! <3
      xoxo

      I hope to be able to connect more with you as well! <3

  13. I know that feeling and had it a lot when I just started blogging, everyone’s blog seemed so much better somehow, but eventually I think I got more self confidence and now I am happy with the way my blog is, although now and then I can still feel a bit envious or admire something about another blog and wish i could do that/ have that/ write that. But it’s much less than when I started and I think you make a good point here to just focus on yourself and stop comparing yourself or at least do it less. And everyone is unique and original and adds something new to his or her blog, which is what makes this community such a great place to be. And it wouldn’t be fun if we were all alike. Great post!

    • YES! I couldn’t agree with you more Lola! <3 I’m not saying everyone is perfect and that they’re going to stop comparing themselves overnight, but it’s important to remember WHY we started to blog in the first place: for BOOKS. (or for whatever it may be) It’s just easier that way. 😉

  14. I’m terribly guilty of comparing myself to others, mostly when it comes to the success of other video gamers though ha! 😀 But I totally know what you mean when it comes to blogging, in a sense, I fed off of these renowned blogger’s thrive and zeal when I first started my blogging journey, but playing the catch up game really wore me down. I’ve contemplated deleting my blog altogether more times than I can count, but then something dawns on me and I realize that I blog because it’s one of the only outlets I have to express my emotions and hone my thoughts; thus, I keep at it.

    In any case, this is such a great post Keionda, and I totally know what peace you are referring to! 😉

    • Awww! Well I really, really hope you NEVA, EVA let your blog go1 We would miss you too much! I count you as one of my blogging friends and would definitely miss your posts if you stopped! But yes, I agree, playing catch up all of the time, definitely is SO not fun! 🙁

  15. It’s definitely hard to stop comparing yourself to others – it’s something I do all the time! But it sounds like you’ve reached an epiphany. I think when I compare my blog to others, it strives me to do better and to think up of more ideas to bring my unique self to the table. What I love about your blog is your voice here, we can really feel your personality and your passion for writing through it! Never stop being yourself Keionda!

    • AWWWW Jeann! TANK YOU! I’m so glad to have meet you through blogging! <3 You’ve been so nice and so inspiring (your blog was actually one of the first blogs I went to and I’ve been coming back ever since!) AND YASSSS! Now, I’ve stopped camping myself, and now turn it to something positive, like growing as a blogger, instead of DISPIRITED and SAD. 🙂

  16. It is so hard not to compare myself and blog to others. Especially when I just started I was like How can I make my blog better? How do I get more followers?? Now I just do my own thing.I can’t stress about it because I just don’t have the time. It is a hobby and I give it the best I can. Lovely post!

  17. sydneyeditor1

    What a thoughtful, measured post. I’ve been heading towards a rut because I’ve dfelt compelled to blog bc I have to not bc I want to. And that truly sucks. You and someone else recently reminded me to enjoy this!